Poetry/Drabble

 “Humans are free except when Humanity needs them.”

I have never been free.

I don’t often cry because I am sad 

I cry because I am upset that I can’t do what my heart wants

I cry because I am not here to do what my heart wants

I cry because my purpose is much deeper

 

“Leadership is lonely.”

It is the loneliest thing in the world.

I know what it’s like to be completely alone –

when people are around and when they are not

I know what it feels like, complete loneliness

I know what it feels like to be abandoned

I know what it feels like to not be able to cry

I know what it feels like to be unsatisfied

Knowing the only person I can rely on is me

That empty part of my stomach that reflects the empty part of my life

 – “I am both within and without.”

And it feels like a dark blue

And it tastes like old dirty pennies

 

My world is a haze and a fog

Everything I do and everyone I meet is at arm’s length

Because I know I may have to let it/them go

My heart is perpetually ready to break

I push my brain to its limits

I ache for perfection, I ache for knowledge

Because I don’t want to need something and not have it

I am never satisfied

 

My life is not mine, and it never has been mine

So I wait for the moment when the haze will clear

I know that I will be alone

I know that I will be empty

But I will be un-blind for the first time

I will understand

Quotes are from, in chronological order, Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card), John Chambers (CEO of Cisco), The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald).

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